2A.M. GUMBO

OR

the late-night ramblings of an aspiring artist coming to terms with his own inadequacy


gumbo recipe

ok here's my gumbo recipe so you can all stop asking


ingredients*

  • andouille sausage
  • chicken. or shrimp. or crab. or all three
  • bell pepper
  • onion
  • celery
  • carrot
  • tomato
  • okra
  • rice
  • water
  • garlic
  • cayenne pepper
  • thyme
  • basil
  • oregano
  • salt
  • cumin
  • flour
  • vegetable oil

*if you are missing any ingredients, omit them completely, because let's be real, it's late and you're not about to go shopping.

instructions

the roux

  1. procrastinate on all of your responsibilities until the feeling of anxiety festers inside of your mind to the point that you realize you must actually begin work.
  2. at around 10-11pm, continue procrastinating by deciding that since you are going to be in for a long night, you would be more productive on a full stomach
  3. heat vegetable oil in a large pot
  4. cut the sausage (and chicken if you have it) and onion and cook them over medium-high heat
  5. after the meat is cooked and onions are transparent, remove them from the pot, but leave the oil
  6. add a bit more oil
  7. add about as much flour as you have oil
  8. over a medium-low heat, begin stirring the roux
  9. keep your eye on the roux and keep stirring. do not let it burn
  10. realize that this is actually taking way too much time and turn the heat up while still mixing
  11. ok it smells like something is burning a bit now, but at least it looks kinda brown. you better turn the heat back down. your roux probably isn't getting better than this.

the gumbo

  1. add the pepper, celery, carrots, and okra which you totally remembered to chop beforehand so that everything is not still burning.
  2. realize that this is actually too many vegetables and you should have used a larger pot, but convince yourself that the vegetables might soften and allow for more space as it cooks
  3. let cook and stir to cover all of the vegetables with your roux
  4. add your spices: salt, cayenne, thyme, basil, and oregano. also cumin, because you have it around the house and you wish you had a bay leaf, but you've never cooked enough dishes that use a bay leaf to warrant buying an entire jar of bay leaves and you're just trying your best.
  5. after stirring for a few more minutes, add water until all of the vegetables are covered.
  6. turn the heat down to low and let the gumbo cook over the stove
  7. put rice in your rice cooker
  8. actually begin taking steps to do the work you were avoiding.
  9. at around 12am, come to terms with your feelings of utter despair
  10. add chopped tomatoes, seafood, and previously reserved meat and onions to the pot
  11. these don't need to cook for that long, so take the time to pause and consider how you ended up in this situation and vow to never let this happen again, but then invariably let it happen again within the next two months.

serving

  1. get yourself a nice bowl and pad the bottom of the bowl with a nice helping of rice.
  2. ladle yourself a good sized helping of the gumbo. you deserve it at this point.
  3. put on some soft ambient music and wrap yourself in a blanket
  4. begin to be productive and realize that doing work actually feels pretty good
  5. the feeling of self-loathing has subsided. you are now at peace with yourself
  6. it is 2A.M.